Who am I
Where do I come from
Why am I here
Contents
1. Yugoslavian Fairytale Once upon a time, in a faraway land of Yugoslavia, there lived a little girl called Jasna, who had a sense of oneness with everything around her, until one spring morning a doorbell rang. She was comfortably sitting on the armchair in the living room eating langoshe. She did not feel like getting up.
Right across the table from her there were portraits of her great grandparents hanging on the wall. As she looked at them she thought about her life. In one month she would be finishing the eighth grade and teachers were already pushing them to choose a program for Junior High, which would start in the fall. At home she was being pressured also with the responsibility of what her family went through during the War, and the importance of choosing a direction that would lead her to college. The truth of the matter was, she was not learning anything at school that she liked and she was bored in math classes as she had a private tutor with whom she was already doing college math and physics. So the last thing she wanted to do was to continue with school, and at the same time she did not know what else would she be doing. The doorbell rang again.
She left the plate with langoshe on the table and walked towards the door. Suddenly she felt a strange sensation, which caused her to hesitate for a moment. She then opened the door and there was a giant looking policeman standing in a hallway with one hand holding a big white envelope and with the other hand resting on his gun.
Her thoughts started rushing by the speed of light: “He could not have known about the glue I was sniffing yesterday as I was alone and I hid the tube all the way at the bottom draw of a shelf in my room. So it must have been that the two guys, who saw Barbara and me throwing rocks down on people from the tenth floor of our building a week ago, went to the police and reported us.”
“Are you Jasna from The Third Elementary School living here?” the policeman asked with an authoritative voice.
A fear crept over her as she thought now he came to put her in jail like they did her grandfather after he came back alive from the Nazi camp. A rush of anxiety continued penetrating her entire body. She wanted to slam the door and run away through the back window, but her hand felt like an iron chain attached to the door handle she was holding and she could not move.
A voice pulled her out from her thoughts. “I am asking if you live here.”
“Yes I do,” she finally said in a way that felt like someone else was talking.
“Here are the papers that all the people in the household need to fill out and write down the nationality,” the policeman said handing her the white envelope.
He left and Jasna sat right back on the armchair, still holding the envelope in her hand, closing her eyes for a moment to make sense of what she just experienced.
She started analyzing her feelings and for some reason she felt different. She felt more aware and more somehow full of her inside. It was an indescribable feeling. She opened her eyes and looked around. She saw her great grandparents’ portraits still hanging on the wall, underneath, a three seated couch with brown and white stripes which her parents had purchased when they got married, and there she felt her body leaning back in the same brown and white striped armchair. Nothing was different.
She gazed at her great grandparents portraits again which somehow seemed to have moved a little. She started realizing that they were young and alive when Uros Predic was painting them after they got married. They must have bought some furniture also, she thought, and they had children and died. Then her grandma got married with her grandpa, they also bought furniture, had children and died. Now her mom married her dad, they bought the furniture, they have her and they are going to die one day. Then it will be her turn. Jasna will get married, buy furniture, she will have children and then what? She will die also! She asked herself: “Is that the only reason that a human being exists, to buy stuff, have children and than to be gone forever from this planet?”
She then realized that her thinking was stemming from a simplified Darwinian theory of Evolution they have been teaching them at school. She thought for a moment and then looked straight at her great grandparents again and said emphatically: “A human being is too intelligent to be a monkey descendant!”
She got up rebelliously, left the white envelope she was still holding in her hand on the armchair, went into her room and took a small black notebook from a drawer, sat at her desk and started writing:
Dear G’d,
Who am I?
Where do I come from?
Why am I here?
* * * * *
Langoshe is a fried dough specialty from Hungary, and it was very common in Samosh, a village in Banat, which is a part of a province of Vojvodina where Jasna’s great grandparents come from.
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Bio Jasmine is an eternal child, and she voluntarily facilitates with programming and manifesting, on every corner of the world and free of charge, Love Beaming Adventure Temples. —————————————————————————————————— |
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